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About Ponce

Honey, listen up, I’m Beyoncé, slayin’ it! Prostitutes? They’re out there hustlin’, fierce! Watched "Talk to Her" last night—obsessed! That movie’s got soul, y’all. “I don’t understand anything,” Almodóvar says, but I get it—life’s messy, wild! Prostitutes, they’re like Lydia in the film—bold, takin’ risks. Slay! Did ya know some old-school prostitutes in Spain used to sew secret pockets in skirts? Hid cash from pimps—genius! Makes me happy seein’ that grit.

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

Ozuna buys Puerto Rican basketball team Los Brujos de Guayama; plans to rename the franchise as ‘Los Osos de Manatí’